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Top 10 Tips for Planning a Divorce

Our Kansas Divorce Lawyers Can Assist

When planning for a divorce, here are our top 10 picks for you to consider

  • 1) Consult with a Family Law Attorney. Find a competent, skilled, and respected Family Law attorney to provide you with your own private and confidential initial consultation concerning the specific facts involved with your prospective divorce. This cannot be stressed enough. Although you will likely pay for an initial consultation with a Family Law attorney, the valuable information and advice you receive from that consultation will likely immensely benefit your planning.


  • 2) Passwords. Be sure that all passwords to your own financial accounts, inclusive of your e-mail and social media accounts, have been updated or changed to minimize such accounts from being hacked, or spied upon.


  • 3) Social Media Protocol. Never post anything derogatory on social media about your spouse, your children, your family, nor make any reference whatsoever to matters involving your divorce. Even after your divorce, you should take special care to not post anything derogatory about your ex-spouse, your divorce, and/or any child-custody or support matter. It is just not fair to your children for their parents to fight each other on public social media, including but not limited to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and others. A good rule to put into practice is to never post, or allow your friends to post, anything that would be embarrassing or questionable for your family to view. Keep in mind that even if you have tight security settings, your friends may have rather relaxed settings that may potentially permit third parties to have access to the information you posted for a select group of friends. Just never post anything that may come back to haunt you.


  • 4) Your Kids are Important. While you may be divorcing your spouse, keep in mind that your children are not. Never say anything degrading, hurtful, or demoralizing to your spouse within the hearing of your children. Doing so can be emotionally damaging to your children. Relevant social science indicates that the more parents fight during a divorce (especially when the children are aware of such fights), the more emotional and psychological struggles and difficulties are created for the children. Keep your children out of the divorce process. Reassure your children often that you and the other parent have nothing but love for them, and that the children will continue to be loved by both parents after the divorce. Consider whether it would be helpful for an experienced mental health professional to be involved with counseling your children about divorce.


  • 5) Have Reasonable Expectations about Your Divorce. Divorce and court proceedings do not usually occur as is sometimes depicted in the movies or in television sitcoms. If you want your divorce to be resolved with relative ease and without excessive turmoil, it will be important for you to understand how the law applies to your divorce and for you to develop realistic expectations about outcomes. Having a conversation with a competent, skilled, and respected Family Law attorney can assist you in shaping realistic expectations based on your unique circumstances.


  • 6) Don’t Obsess about the Past. The past is over and there is very little, if anything, that you can do to change what occurred in the past. Obsessing over the past hurtful things that your spouse did during the marriage will only keep you from moving forward with a fresh, positive, and new outlook on life. The completion of your divorce is the open path to your new life. Celebrate letting go of what is no longer effective and meaningful, and begin to look forward to your new fresh life of opportunity. While you may need to work with your spouse to effectuate the completion of the divorce, remain focused on the future! Permit the divorce process to be an opportunity to define a result that best serves your family’s future.


  • 7) Make an Inventory. A division of property is an essential part of your divorce. It is helpful to create a household inventory list to assist in the process of ensuring that household goods are equitably divided. In addition to a household inventory list, it is also helpful to create a financial inventory list (perhaps in an excel spreadsheet). A financial inventory list should include all assets and debts. Among the list of assets, some items to include would be: real estate, bank accounts, investment accounts, pensions and other retirement accounts, life insurance policies vehicles, airplanes, boats, business ventures and partnerships, etc. Among the list of debts, some items to include would be: real estate mortgage, loans, credit cards, past due bills, taxes owed, other indebtedness, etc.


  • 8) Secure Copies of Important Documents. Divorce cases require the production of documents. Oftentimes, those documents will include all of the items identified in Tip #7, but the important documents may also include copies of: Titles to vehicles, boats, airplanes, and real estate; title insurance; personal property (including jewelry, collections, artwork, antiques); appraisals; childcare documents; tax returns; W-2s, 1099s, K1s; pay stubs; prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. It is usually best to try to gather as much of the available documents you may need before filing for divorce. If possible, make copies of your documents before meeting with your attorney. Not all spouses react well to learning that a divorce filing may be forthcoming, and some may make it difficult to access documents after you have filed. Avoid that headache by securing copies of your important documents ahead of time.


  • 9) Get Organized Financially. Start tracking your expenses and think about your future expenses. Avoid big expenses now. Develop an idea about what your household budget should be, or needs to be, after the divorce is finalized. Your expenses should include everything you payout on a monthly basis, plus other expenses that might be paid out on a quarterly or semi-annual basis, such as insurance premiums. Don’t forget to include expenses for gifts, holidays/vacations, and those one-time repair or replacement items that you know are coming up.


  • 10) Develop a Support Network. Going through a divorce is oftentimes emotionally challenging and difficult. Just as important and necessary in hiring a competent family law attorney and obtaining important documents is the process of developing your own support network. Divorce can feel lonely. If you are fortunate enough to have good friends and family, they can be a source of invaluable support. But, if you find the people in your life are too close, or family is not an option, you may want to consider a therapist or mental health professional to help provide you with the sense of balance that you may need. Another alternative may be a divorce coach or a relationship counselor. The hired professionals should make you feel comfortable about sharing and discussing your needs in a safe, non-judgmental confidential environment.


Contact our Overland Park divorce lawyers today.

Our experienced lawyers help you achieve peace of mind in your divorce matter and can take care of your support and custody arrangements as well. We are conveniently located in Overland Park Kansas. Call us at 913-381-5020 to arrange your consultation or contact us online.

  • Video Library

    Does my spouse have to agree to the divorce?

    Married couples can disagree on anything and everything, including whether they should get a divorce. Once, a spouse’s objection made obtaining a divorce difficult or impossible, but today it’s much easier to dissolve your marriage without your spouse’s consent, by filing a “no-fault” divorce. If you’re considering divorce, a local family law attorney can help you understand all of your options.
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