What is Stonewalling in a Marriage or Divorce?

Healthy relationships depend on respectful communication between the parties. From the time we are children, one of the most frustrating experiences is trying to connect with someone who is giving you the silent treatment, either literally, or by failing to provide meaningful responses to the things you say. Modern relationship experts refer to this type of behavior as “stonewalling.”

In a marriage, stonewalling can feel like an insurmountable barrier. When one partner consistently refuses to communicate, the other may feel ignored, invalidated, or powerless. Over time, this behavior can create emotional distance, erode trust, and diminish intimacy. Some husbands and wives might believe that keeping their frustrations to themselves is preferable to triggering an argument by speaking out, but even unpleasant communication can benefit a relationship.

Specific behaviors frequently associated with stonewalling include the following:

• Refusing to answer questions or responding during an argument
• Changing the subject to avoid difficult conversations
• Physically withdrawing from a discussion by leaving the room
• Using silence as a weapon to control or punish the other partner

Not surprisingly, stonewalling is often a precursor to divorce. Unfortunately, this form of negative behavior can also make the marriage dissolution process tougher in a number of ways. A stonewalling spouse might not be willing to make compromises during settlement negotiations or mediation. Requests for financial documents or other necessary information may be ignored, leading to unnecessary costs and delays.

Getting stonewalled by a soon-to-be ex can be a harsh experience for someone who simply wants to secure fair divorce terms and start the next chapter of their life. You should avoid the temptation to give in on issues such as child custody, property division and spousal support just to be rid of your former spouse’s negativity. Working with an experienced family law attorney gives you the best opportunity to tackle challenges posed by a stonewalling husband or wife. 

At The Henry Law Firm P.A., we develop effective legal strategies to help Kansas residents address the potential complications in their divorce, including stonewalling spouses. Please call 913-381-5020 or contact us online to discuss your case with an accomplished lawyer. Our office is in Overland Park.